Wednesday, September 9, 2009


Bye Mom! Off she went. To school. For the first time. Wow.

Deep breath. Morning went well, we got to the bus stop on time, Isabella was only a little nervous. I had labeled her lunch box and backpack, as ordered. Very sternly reminded her to be sure she remembered her lunch box. Went to Theo's house, and before 10:30 had a call from the school. Nearly shat myself. She didn't remember if she should take the bus home or not. Love 5. Breathing again, but missing her. Wondering if she was ok, had she traded out all of her lunch yet. Were the other kids nice to her. Was she having fun, or bored.

Made it home from sitting with time to spare, drove down to the bus stop, as we needed to go straight to the Y for ballet. She walks off the bus, big smile - Mommy! My lunch box leaked (all over her pants). She put a full, opened box of chocolate soy milk sideways in the box, as, no doubt, she talked through lunch and didn't finish it in time. This is learning. I ask, sweetie, where is your sweatshirt? thinking it would be in her backpack. Don't you know the one thing I didn't label... was still on the bus. She burst into tears. More learning.

But overall, good day! She has a few friends from pre-k in her class, and a girl she's met at the local playground too. I was left with feeling that sending her to school is more work than having her at home, and more homework for me - the pile of papers (pto fundraisers, waivers etc) to wade through before dinner made me feel sorry for whatever forest got hacked down to print it all. And now we do this all again tomorrow.

I do feel like such a babe in the woods with this school thing. Rob and I are the youngest parents on our street by, oh, a good 10 years. Makes me feel like a freshman at the senior prom, for sure. And I missed her.

She lost her first tooth on Saturday.

Now Isabella is a modern girl. She asked my parents where the toothfairy lives. When they were unable to provide a satisfactory answer, she says 'ok, let's google it, or look it up on wikipedia'. Teh interwebz seems to think (with some Grandpa censoring here) that the toothfairy lives in a castle in the sky, and uses the teeth she collects to do additions on the structure. Ok. The Boxford toothfairy seems to think that 10 bucks a tooth is reasonable - we contracted with her for a 5$ special for the first tooth, and there after a more recession-worthy 1 dollar.

Little man will be a year old in 6 days. Unreal, a year ago there was no longer any space in my body for any sunshine to be blown anywhere. I just wanted to not be pregnant anymore. Amazing what a year does... for all of us.

Such a sun-shiny boy he is. When I'm around. Definitely in the 'stranger anxiety' phase. He's getting ever-closer to walking - tonight he put 3 steps together.

Sometimes I feel like my heart pours out into the outer reaches of my aura. Like the love that these two magical beings has created within me is at once inside every cell, and outside because there is just not enough room. While pregnant with Bridger I worried that I wouldn't love him as much as Isabella, or that there wouldn't be enough for both of them. I'm not sure where the well is, but it never runs dry. It's both serene and terrifying, soothing and painful. But I love it. They are my heart.


  1. So glad Bella had a good first day!

  2. What a beautiful girl (and boy)! I too am glad she had a good day. She seems like a very brave girl getting on that bus. Kindergarten looms for us and I am terrified of it. Thanks for this post which is very reassuring (except for the excessive paperwork - yuk.) :)