Sunday, July 26, 2009
I watched this video today in Yoga Teacher Training - AMAZING! A perfectly scientific explanation of samadhi and oneness - my skeptical nature just loved it. So with out being a spoiler - I have had those moments - few though. Laboring with Bridger, my self saw my animal nature and physical body from afar. In Savasana, being in a moment of present observation. And now I know why - my monkey chattering left brain took a nap :)
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Yes, Isabella is fishing. Off the porch. This photo just says everything that is best and beautiful about being 5.
We had a wonderful trip, despite the tailend of April showers in July. Fourth of July weekend was spent at my in-laws lakeside cottage. On Monday morning we packed up and spent the next few days in Acadia National Park. It was MAGNIFICENT. Isabella is a seasoned camper, but this was Bridger's first trip. He loved it - particularly playing peek-a-boo in the tent:
Tuesday was overcast and cool, but we did go biking on the carriage roads. Being in such a beautiful place was soothing to my being. It seemed every few breaths was a moment of 'stop, look, be here'.
The rain came in Tuesday night (it was downright raw - 52 degrees!), who knew we'd need hot cocoa in July. Wednesday morning was still pretty foul, so we had lunch at Jordan Pond House, famous for their popovers and jam - yum! By early afternoon, the rain had passed, so we went for a hike around the pond. Although a popular route, the scenery is just beyond belief. There was a loon in the pond, and mist around the bubbles. It felt other-worldly.
Thursday, the day we had to drive home, the sun finally made a real appearance. We ended up hiking from our campground along Somes Sound to Thunder Hole, where we had lunch. It was bluebird, just wonderful. There was time for a little yoga by the water:
This trip definately got two thumbs up :)
And a few other notes, as I've been such a bum about posting... Garden is ... a bit wild. But I think not all is lost after the ridiculous abount of rain we had. I have zucchini blossoms, a few green tomatoes going, and I think there will be cukes as well.
I am now off zoloft. Not entirely by choice, but I'm coping. Truth is it just got to be too expensive to throw $300 a month into appointments and meds - although I wish I could have weaned off it more slowly. The withdrawal was pretty unpleasant. Pranayama has been a very important tool in managing the anxiety that is still gnawing at my edges. So has the occasional smokey treat (boo - I hadn't smoked in over four years...). But I am managing, and now feel like this is a battle I can at least think about losing, rather than a battle I can't even fight.
I'm feeling pretty hopeful on the whole though. A few months ago I felt as if I was a dead zone of sorts - like a sailboat with luffing sails, waiting for some wind to come take me to in some direction. Now there is both purpose, and quiet attention to a path. I have reconciled with my self that right now, in this moment my JOB is to mother my children. I've put together a hodge-podge of things that will help pay some bills, that can be scheduled around my kids. That all speak to my passions and interests, and use my strengths. This is the most secure I've felt in myself and my future in a long time. And it is a lovely feeling.